Defending Marriage
Glenn Stanton: Why Marriage Matters
November 1, 2006
Glenn Stanton, the director of social research and cultural affairs and the senior analyst for marriage and sexuality for Focus on the Family, is best known for his book “Why Marriage Matters.” During public appearances in Idaho and Arizona over the past year, he has exhibited a civil tone that is refreshing to what is often a spirited debate. Stanton also makes perfect sense when he lists the many reasons for why marriage does indeed matter.
The key points in the debate, Stanton says, are these:
- Same-sex families always deny children either their father or their mother;
- The same-sex family is a vast, untested social experiment with children;
- How do we say “no” to group marriage? Where does it stop?; and
- Schools will be forced to teach that the homosexual family is normal. Churches will legally be forced to perform same-sex “wedding” ceremonies.
Marriage is Always About the Next Generation
According to Stanton, a loving and compassionate society never creates motherless and fatherless families, but it does come to their aid. Same-sex families are not driven by the needs of children, but rather by the radical wishes of a small group of adults. There is no child development theory that says children need two parents of the same gender. The evidence points toward the many benefits gained by children who live with their mothers and fathers.
A Vast Social Experiment Inflicted Upon Children
Stanton points out that no society has ever raised a generation of children in same-sex families. Same-sex “marriage” will subject generations of children to the status of lab rats, as a debate opponent identified them, in a vast, untested social experiment.
It makes sense that we know how the experiment will turn out, Stanton said. America has raised millions of children in fatherless families in recent decades and this experiment has been a stunning failure by every measure taken. Thousands of published, peer-reviewed social science, psychological and medical studies have shown that children living in fatherless families, on average, suffer dramatically in every category of well-being. These children suffer from much higher levels of physical and mental illness, educational failure, poverty, substance abuse, criminal behavior, loneliness and physical and sexual abuse. Children who live apart from both biological parents are eight times more likely to die of maltreatment than children living with their mother and father. It makes no sense to create more child suffering to satisfy the desires of adults.
The Most-Asked Question
How does same-sex “marriage” affect my marriage? That question is asked all the time, Stanton acknowledged. And if it were just about your family, there would be no real danger. But same-sex “marriage” advocates are not seeking marriage for you alone, but rather demanding that all of us radically change our understanding of family. This will do great damage.
Someone's same-sex family will teach our children that the concepts of husband and wife, mother and father are merely optional for the family and therefore, meaningless. Children will be given the message that gender does not matter in the family. But masculinity and femininity matter far too much.
Forced Acceptance
Stanton says that same-sex “marriage” will lead to an erosion of an individual's civil rights to object to homosexuality. Same-sex relationships and households are tolerated in society today. But this issue is not merely about tolerance. Instead, it is about forcing everyone to fully accept unnatural families.
A loss of freedom has been witnessed in countries where same-sex “marriage” is legal. Just months after the legalization of same-sex “marriage” in Canada, activists successfully passed C-250, a bill criminalizing public statements against homosexuality, punishable by up to two years in prison.
Public schools would be forced to teach that same-sex “marriage” and homosexuality are perfectly normal. Churches will be forced to perform same-sex “weddings.” When the courts declare that same-sex “marriage” is a “constitutional” and fundamental “human right,” the ACLU will successfully argue that the government is underwriting discrimination by offering tax exemptions to churches and synagogues that only honor natural marriage.
Homosexuals have the right to form relationships. They do not have a right to redefine marriage for everyone.
The Public Purpose of Marriage
Marriage is a common good, not a special interest, Stanton says. Every society needs natural marriage, men and women working together to create and raise the next generation. No society needs homosexual coupling.
What about Civil Rights?
There is no civil right to deny children their mothers or fathers, which is what same-sex “marriage” does. There is no civil right to conduct a vast, untested social experiment on children.
It is an affront, Stanton says, to compare the prejudice inflicted on African-Americans to the prevention of homosexuals from marrying. Many civil rights leaders strongly reject the civil rights claims of homosexuals seeking marriage rights.
The advocates of same-sex “marriage” frequently cite past laws against interracial marriage. But marriage has nothing to do with race, Stanton says. It has everything to do with men and women building a domestic life together, creating and caring for the next generation. Racism was about keeping races apart; marriage is about bringing the genders together. There are no negative child development outcomes from being raised by interracial parents. But there are thousands of social science studies showing negative outcomes for children who are denied their mothers and fathers. Sexual preference is nothing like skin color, and homosexuality is not a civil right.
Discrimination and the Constitution
Same-sex “marriage” advocates frequently claim that marriage protection amendments amount to “writing discrimination into the Constitution.” But Stanton says the U.S. Constitution will be changed in one way or another. Either a small handful of unaccountable, activist judges will write a radical new definition of marriage into the Constitution, or the people will protect marriage constitutionally through the option created by the Founding Fathers: amending the Constitution.
Supporters of constitutional amendments have been forced into this action because a small few want to constitutionally redefine marriage for all of us. Same-sex activists brought this fight to all of us.
Stanton's Conclusion
All the family experimentation of the past 30 years – including no-fault divorce, the sexual revolution, cohabitation and fatherlessness – have all been documented failures that harmed adults and children in far deeper ways for longer periods of time than anyone ever imagined. Stanton asks why we think that this radical experiment will somehow result in good things? All we have is our opponents' promise that everything will work out fine. The advocates of the other schemes said the same thing, but their promises were empty. We all know that men and women are necessary for the family and that no child should intentionally be denied her mother or father in order to fulfill some adults' desires. That is why we cannot accept the same-sex family. It serves no public purpose.
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