President's Message

This past month I have had cause to reflect on the power of good parenting. Through a tragic accident that resulted in the death of our 11-month-old grandson I witnessed a tender and impressive display of incredible parenting. I watched a loving father gather his four remaining children in his arms to inform and teach them of death. I saw his great desire to protect and provide comfort to their aching hearts. I witnessed a grieving mother nurture and care for her sorrowing children, allowing with full respect the wide gamut of emotions that such a situation incurs. I felt immense gratitude for these two fine parents and the difficult but noble roles they filled on behalf of their children.

This experience confirmed to my heart and mind the crucial role that parents play in a stable society. Parenting is the privilege of preparing the next generation of noble citizens. Ideally, it requires two partners of equal but differing strengths. The masculinity of the father with his ability to lead, protect and provide gives great strength and physical security to the home. The femininity of the mother as the nurturer and the heart of the home provides the emotional security that allows the habits of the heart—the civilizing habits, that create a sense of personal and civic virtue to be perpetuated. Parenthood connotes a partnership where equal but different roles work together to provide balance and security for those being parented.

I am very aware that while the ideal is what we strive for, it is often not the reality. Our hearts go out to those wonderful single parents who somehow manage so valiantly to succeed on their own. As a society it is important that we reach out to assist as needed in these situations. We commend those programs in our community whose goal is to offer such assistance.

The parenting in our homes creates the seedbed of society and as such, few other responsibilities are as important. The enduring nature of the parent-child relationship makes sharing the life long joys and sorrows of those children a lasting part of every parent's life. It is imperative that parents have the opportunity to give their children the instruction, guidance, and direction they feel is necessary to formulate the character of their children.

In her final days, my grandmother Mynoa Andersen said, "As you near the end of your mortal life, there is nothing that will bring you more joy than your children. No creation, no book, no song, no success can begin to touch the joy of children, properly raised." This past month as we dealt with the sorrow of death, I felt a glimpse of the joy Grandma was speaking of.

Parenthood is the greatest and most rewarding of all challenges. It deserves our greatest attention and effort.

Warm Regards,

Carol Soelberg

Marriage March Continues

We appreciate the great efforts that all are making to collect signatures for the Protect Marriage Arizona Amendment. Marriage March (February 12 - March 12) is proving to be a very successful campaign and your hard work is paying off. We still need volunteers to collect signatures at events around the state as well as in your own neighborhoods now and through the spring.
Please CONTACT US now to volunteer.

PMA Petition Tips

1. Commit! - Commit to getting 1 petition (15 signatures) each week, or even each day. You'll be surprised at how easy it is.
2. Be Bold! - Don't judge someone as a supporter or not. Give everyone an opportunity. You'll be surprised how many are on the side of Families.
3. Don't Leave Your Petitions Unattended - You must be a witness to every signature
4. Use black ink - the Secretary of State's office prefers it.
5. Carry Voter Registration forms with you as well as blue Protect Marriage pamphlets any other education literature.
6. Ask the signer if they would like to be kept informed about the issue by giving us their email address.
7. Gain permission from the store owner or manager before obtaining signatures. Be courteous and respectful.
8. Approach individuals on the way out of a business, library, etc. as opposed to on the way in.
9. Be cautious of duplicate signatures.
10. Be creative in where you obtain signatures. Some of the great places have been:

    Library
    MVD
    Stores & Businesses
    Parades
    Professional Sporting Events
    Farmer's Market
    College Campuses (check to see if a permit is required)
    Kids Sporting Events
    Parks & Rec Centers
    Zoo
    Garage & Rummage Sales

Parental Rights: An International Perspective

Marcia Barlow

For the last three decades we have watched as Parental Rights have been undermined by the notion of "Children's Rights." What sounds like a reasonable and appropriate thing — certainly children have rights that must be protected — this philosophy has become yet another vehicle for dismantling the family. Parental rights and family freedom are now being threatened by children's rights activists seeking to take from parents some of the control they have under current law and instead give that control to judges, caseworkers, children's lawyers, and even the public school system.

Martin Guggenheim, professor of clinical law at New York University, seriously questions "whether children's rights serve children's interests." When these professionals supplant parents, they typically defend their decisions as necessary to protect "children's rights" and to secure "the best interests of the child." Guggenheim is skeptical of such rhetoric. "'Children's rights,' he remarks, "has become a mantra invoked by adults to help them in their fights with other adults in all sorts of contexts." "Children's rights" have thus become "a useful subterfuge" for adults seeking to hide their own motives. And though the appeal to "the best interests of the child" seems "alluring and child-friendly," Guggenheim warns that "it is a formula for unleashing state power, without any meaningful reassurance of advancing children's interests. It means substituting the state's preference about some aspect of child-rearing for the parents'. But this hardly ensures the second opinion is better than the first." Substituting a court's view of "the best interests of the child" for the parents' view "only ensures greater intervention through protracted litigation and an almost boundless authority by the judge to regulate the family." (The Howard Center quoting: Martin Guggenheim, What's Wrong With Children's Rights? [Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2005], xii-xiii, 8-17, 38-41, 245-247.)

Some examples of diminishing Parental Rights include:

• At the international level efforts to lower the age of consent (sexual consent) and efforts to afford children as young as 10 the right to vote.
• In the recent case of an elementary school sex survey in Palmdale, California, Judge Stephen Reinhart (9th Circuit Court of Appeals) ruled that "There is no fundamental right of parents to be the exclusive provider of information regarding sexual matters to their children." Reinhart further wrote "parents have no due process or privacy right to override the determinations of public schools..."
• Relentless efforts on the part of abortion advocates to keep parents from having involvement in their child's decision whether or not to have an abortion (Parental Consent/Notification Laws).
• Efforts by activists to legislatively remove the option that parents currently have to allow their children to "opt out" of classes where objectionable material is being taught.
• Diminishing parental control of the information/curriculum that their children are being taught.
• An international effort to prevent parents from censoring the information that children receive, be it television, internet, or the material picked up at the library.

Marcia Barlow

Successful Parenting

Carol Solberg

Since the theme of this newsletter is "Parental Rights", I can't resist "switching hats" and adding a few favorite comments on parenting. As some of you may know, through the extensive efforts and good lives of our children, my husband Glade and I had the honor of being presented the Arizona Parents of the Year Award. We feel being the parents of our thirteen children is an incredible honor and we have gratefully accepted the opportunity of representing parenthood and promoting it as one of the most crucial roles and responsibilities in society.

I would like to share with you good parents some of the ideas and support systems that have been so valuable to us in raising our children. I certainly realize that this list is far from complete. I only wish that each of you could share what has worked for you as well. I would love to learn from your experiences. Feel free to drop me a line anytime you feel you have something to share. (We just may feature you in a future newsletter!) But for what it's worth, here are some ideas we have found helpful in our parenting effort.

1. Eat at least one meal together every day. Use this time to show appreciation and support for your children and their activities. We have a world map under plastic on our table top. It makes for great dinnertime conversation about what is going on in the world.
2. Spend one night a week together in a family council/training session. Discuss family concerns and schedules. Help each family member feel an important part of the family team.
3. Spend time every week working and playing together in wholesome activities.
4. Watch for and participate in programs that build character in children. Two of our favorites are
• a. www.valuesparenting.com - Provides materials for a great co-op preschool that focuses on teaching children joy.
• b. www.characterfirst.com - Provides a list of 49 character traits with ideas and materials for teaching them to people of all ages.
5. Look for ways to enhance and improve your parenting skills. One of my favorites is The Arbinger Company and their very insightful Parenting Pyramid. You can reference this at www.thearbingercompany.com.

We have found that parenting is one of those "invest now - profit later" plans that keeps us very much on our toes. But the rewards are surely worth the wait! Happy Parenting!

Answer Tough Questions,
Educate Your Family & Know the Facts

Lina Hatch

How do your children feel about same-gender "marriage?" Are they aware of its impact on society? Are you as a parent able to articulate social science data in defense of marriage between one man and one woman? Are your children able to do the same? How are you teaching this information in your home?

UFA has a growing number of trained individuals who are ready to bring a cottage meeting presentation into your home, church or club/organization. Our 30 minute Power Point presentation is one of the most efficient and organized methods for educating our friends and neighbors as to "Why We Need a Federal and State Marriage Amendment." This presentation answers such questions as the following:

1. Why is a Constitutional amendment necessary when we already have state laws that define marriage?
2. Can the American people lose their power to govern through judicial activism?
3. What is the purpose of government licensing and what does a marriage license protect?
4. Are rights being denied same-sex couples?
5. What can we learn from the countries where same sex "marriage" has been legal for some time?
6. What are the myths and realities of same sex marriage?

In the weeks ahead, UFA is focusing on educating Arizona citizens as to the importance of passing a state constitutional amendment and circulatingpetitions to gather signatures to place this initiative on the November Arizona ballot. We are looking for opportunities to be invited into your home, church or club/organization. Those who have hosted a cottage meeting have been rewarded with positive feedback from their guests who are now empowered with social science data to speak up knowledgeably in defense of traditional marriage.

OUR CITIZENS NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE THREAT TO MARRIAGE AND THE IMPORTANCE OF A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT.

Please contact us for more information.

Mesa Mother of Seven and a Member of United
Families Arizona Named National Parent of the Year

Heather Sandstrom

Debra Jean Hutching Forrest, a Member of United Families of Arizona and United Families International, was named the National Parent of the Year in Washington DC by the National Parents' Day Council. Debbie was recognized for her "exceptional example as a parental role model by demonstrating the finest qualities of unconditional love for her children, spiritual devotion, and ministering to the needs of others, both domestic and international, in spite of the tragic loss of her beloved husband, William." It's the first time in the 10-year history of the award that a single parent has been recognized. Debbie's husband, William, was killed five years ago at age 47, when his car was hit by a tractor-trailer at Val Vista Drive and McKellips road, less than a mile from the Forrest's home. Debbie was left to raise her children, ages 4 to 21 alone.

In gratitude for the support received by Debbie and her children she says, "I have come to realize how fortunate I am to raise my family in such a supportive community. We have been blessed with dear friends, a supportive church group, dedicated school teachers, committed scout leaders, and incredible coaches. All have helped raise my children."

During the past five years, Debbie's oldest son Ben graduated from college and has begun his first year in the Stanford MBA program. The oldest daughter Katie, graduated from college, served an 18-month mission in Argentina and is now working for LDS Philanthropies at BYU. Matt, the third child, served a two-year mission in Chile, is in his senior year in the BYU business program and was recently married to Beth Robison. Daughter Kara won the National Entrepreneur of the Year award and took first runner-up to Global Student Entrepreneur of the World. She is now a senior at BYU. Daniel achieved the rank of Eagle Scout while serving as Student Body President, sent phone cards to troops overseas and raised over $11,000 for the cause. He also served as the Senior Patrol Leader at the National Jamboree. Son Aaron also served as Student Body President and is now in 8th grade and just completed his Eagle project. Athletics, piano, academic, leadership and citizenship awards are just a few areas of recognition that have also been received by her children. The Forrest Family has also made time to help the less fortunate in Honduras and Mexico.

Debbie has served as President of the Parents Organization at Stapley Junior High and Barbara Bush Elementary raising funds for computer labs and other school projects. She has served as Block Watch Captain for over 400 homes for 13 years. She has been a Cub Scout Leader for four years and a Merit Badge Counselor for 10 years. She is a member of Families Helping Families, The Center for Empowerment, and headed a district wide fund raising program to raise several hundred thousand dollars for local public schools.

Debbie's nomination letter states, "Debbie loves life, God, her country and her community. She lives what she believes and creates beauty and goodness wherever she goes, and with whom ever she's with. She motivates others through her positive belief and faith that we are all richly blessed and extraordinarily talented and capable of making a difference in the lives of our family members and those in the community, regardless of our life's circumstances."

We are blessed to have Debbie Forrest as a member and great supporter of United Families of Arizona and United Families International.

Parents of the Year

Heather Sandstrom

In 1994, Parents' Day was established and the congressional resolution encourages citizens to "recognize Parents' Day through proclamations, activities, and educational efforts in furtherance of recognizing, uplifting and supporting the role of parents in the rearing of children." The American Family Coalition of Arizona is now accepting nominations for Parents of the Year by sending an email request to afcaz@cox.net. The American Family Coalition of Arizona is now accepting nominations for Parents of the Year. If you are familiar with a family who meets some or all of the following qualities, you may submit their names for nomination by filling out an application. Applications are available by sending an email request to afcaz@cox.net. Nominations are due June 1, 2006.

Qualifications of Parents of the Year

1. Loving: Good parents show their love in a multitude of ways; they demand a lot from their children, have high expectations, and at the same time are trusting and generous.
2. Consistent: When we meet self-reliant children doing well in school, moving toward higher education, participating in community and church activities, we can assume they have received good consistent parenting.
3. nvolved: Most high-achieving students have thrived because of the encouragement their parents gave by participating in the high school programs and extracurricular activities.
4. Motivating: Parents who have raised families of successful children demonstrate unique abilities to motivate, organize, discipline and supervise - especially when living on a limited budget. Parents of such families may have heroic character.
5. Courageous: Difficulties, obstacles, challenges (such as a disabled child in a family) which are overcome by parents in order to provide all their children with a good education and a happy, healthy home would be a factor in considering an awardee.
6. Role Models: When we choose the recipients for the Parents' Day Award, we hope they will be role models to all who are trying to be the best possible parents themselves.

Upcoming Events

Mark your calendars and bring your petitions. Contact Emma Ray, our Volunteer Coordinator (emmajaneray@gmail.com), with questions or to add events to the calendar.

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