14 Nov A SAD STORY
Beverly was six or seven when her parents divorced. She had a brother just 2-3 years older and 2 sisters older than that. Her mother, of course, had to go to work, and just as important, find a new man in her life. So Beverly and her brother went home after school to no one to help with homework, talk about their day, drive them to music and or sports etc.
When Beverly was 19, she met a man at work, and they were soon living together. They were married a few months later. Four years later, they had their first child, a girl. Beverly’s husband was a drug addict, but was able to keep a job in construction. When their daughter was 2 ½, they had another baby, this time a boy. Soon after that, Beverly began doing drugs and she and her husband were both doing heroin. Finally, when their little boy was almost three, and their daughter 5 ½, they split up and sobered up. Beverly gave her husband full custody of the children, and moved two states away.
NO ONE could believe that a mother could do that!! HOW?!!! WHY!?!? Thankfully, her husband wanted the children and managed to keep them and care for them with the help of his family.
Let’s take a closer look at Beverly’s early life. Her dad left, then her mom left (to work and date etc.). She was on her own with only her siblings. Her lifestyle deteriorated in her teen years and she started having random sexual encounters. Studies prove that when you begin using drugs and/or get into sex, your emotional development STOPS !! So Beverly was basically a mid-teenager when she got married and then divorced. Without a realization of the problem and some type of treatment, her life story will remain the same – she still lives with a guy and makes other poor choices.
Marriage and parenthood are not for the faint-of-heart NOR the immature! Anyone who is in a marriage and has children will testify that even when everything is as it should be, it is challenging.
I feel for Beverly. Under the circumstances in which she was raised and the choices she made, it’s no wonder she could leave her children and not look back. Marriage and parenthood overwhelmed her as it would any teenager. She sees her children about once a year.
This is my story. Beverly is my ex-daughter-in-law. We have been raising her two children for five years. We are in our mid 60’s. It has been the hardest thing we have ever done. We love these children dearly and would not have it any other way, under the circumstances, but it would have been so much easier- AND EFFECTIVE- to have one, loving, engaged, hard-working mom functioning in their home.
To moms: 100 TIMES YOUR WEIGHT IN GOLD could still never replace what you do in the home.