02 Dec Just Any Four Hands will Not Do
Same gender parenting is a controversial subject. Many people believe that a same gender couple could raise a child just as well as a heterosexual couple. This is an attack on the structure of the family and could have detrimental effects in the long run.
Families have always been around. One of the two commandments given to Adam and Eve was to have a family. This shows the importance of the family. The family is an important part of every person’s life and our parents define our family. Think back to when you were a child. How would you have felt if your mother or father wasn’t there? Think about what life would be like if you only had one parent. Growing up my parents taught me separate but distinct things. My mother taught me about caring; for me and for other people. She taught me that there is good in everyone and that I should always look for that good. My father taught me the value of working hard and respecting the women in my life. This has been something that has and will bless me for the rest of my life.
Both parents play a vital role in a child’s development and it is essential that they are both there. Having and raising children is a noble desire as long as the needs of the child can fully be taken care of. While growing up a child tends to mimic those people around him/her, if they do not have someone to look to for guidance, how will they grow up and learn what they are supposed to do? A son cannot learn how to be a man from a woman, it is not possible, and a girl cannot learn to be a woman from a man. Children are our future; our lives are in their hands.
Within the parental unit, the mother is commonly seen as the one who fulfills the nurturing role. children. Mothers are essential to the family. If a mother is away from home or absent in the child’s life it damages the psychological growth of the child. Fathers and mothers have different roles within the family. You cannot substitute one for the other. Mothers teach children the fundamental skills they will need to survive. A father’s role is to provide the physical means needed for a child’s development. This is not to say that a father adds nothing to a child’s psychological development. Fathers are a necessity just as much as mothers.
When you were younger, did you ever think there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? Did you ever have a nightmare? Whenever this happened to me it was always my father who came into my room and checked under my bed or in my closet and told me that everything would be okay. Even though he knew that there was never anything there, he always came in to check on me and that little reassurance always got me through the night.
Fathers give children important learning experiences that give them confidence and help them to be better off in the long run. David Popenoe says in his book, Life without father: compelling new evidence that fatherhood and marriage are indispensable for the good of children and society:
“Sons learn from their fathers about male responsibility and achievement, about how to be suitably assertive and independent, and how to relate acceptably to the opposite sex [Girls you can either thank or blame your significant other’s dad for that]. Sons who experience a rejecting, incompetent, or absent father often grow up with a highly conflicting sense of masculinity.”
He later says about females that, “Girls with supportive fathers are, in general, more successful in their careers.” Again, each different gender parent brings unique abilities to the table that help in the socializing of children.
Cornerstone Family Council of Idaho has a webpage that discusses the needs of a male and female parents in the development of children. They discuss several different things that only mothers can do and things that only a father can do. Do you want to give your children every possible advantage in life? Make you raise them in a married mother/father home. The evidence is there. Don’t be fooled by the rhetoric that children will be “just fine” without both a mother AND a father. Just any four parenting hands will not do.
David Jenks is a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho working towards a degree in Marriage and Family studies. He is a father, a husband, and an advocate for the family who believes in the importance that marriage, between a man and women, holds for society.
Edelman, Hope. “Children Without Mothers Are at Special Risk – New York Times.” The New York Times – Breaking News, World News & Multimedia. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 June 2013. http://www.nytimes.com/1994/05/01/opinion/l-children-without-mothers-are-at-special-risk-954179.html
Kagan, Jerome. “The Role of Parents in Children’s Psychological Development.” Pediatrics. N.p., 1 July 1999. Web. 13 June 2013. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/104/Supplement_1/164.full.html
Stanton, Glenn. “Why Children Need a Male and Female Parent | Cornerstone Family Council.” Protecting Family, Life, Liberty | Cornerstone Family Council. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 June 2013. http://www.cfcidaho.org/why-children-need-male-and-female-parent