Make Sure Your Marriage gets the Maintenance it Deserves

Make Sure Your Marriage gets the Maintenance it Deserves

MacGyverBy Jessica Westfall

MacGyver was an 80s tv show that my parents introduced me to my Freshman year of high school. MacGyver was a jack-of-all trades, he could find a solution to any problem and was an all around helpful guy. I was impressed, and sometimes skeptical, of the daring escapes he made with common, and sometimes all-too-convient, everyday items. But one theme held true throughout the show, MacGyver saw use where others didn’t. More importantly, he used that knowledge and got out of sticky situations. Our lives are riddled with helpful metaphorical gum wrappers and paper clips, but it does take some training to recognize their usefulness. While MacGyver was heralded as an man who’s brain just worked differently, we all have the ability to improve our lives with a little guidance.

A huge part of every human life is social interaction, especially families. Anyone in a family will admit there are moments of friction, times when the right solution is not yet apparent. Like the many friends MacGyver met along the way, we have all the same tools at our disposal, but like MacGyver, only some know how to effectively use them. We all have ways of communicating, verbally and nonverbally. We all have choice in how we react and what we say. The MacGyver’s of the family world seem to have it all together, no situation is too sticky or harrowing to be resolved.
Those that seem to have a gift may indeed have a gift, the gift of knowledge. Some can learn this knowledge through personal experience, and many do. But a lot of the time it’s easier and more pleasant to learn from another’s experience. My mother and father attended a marriage seminar a few years ago and Mom remarked after that she knew first hand  what the presenter was teaching because they (my parents) had figured it out through trial and error. She joked that it would have been a lot easier to figure it out if they’d had the class 20 year earlier. What if your 20 years ago is now?

I have incredible respect for those that regularly service their vehicles. Buying a car from someone like that is absolutely wonderful (I’m pretty sure MacGyver kept his vehicle in top condition). Yet many of us, including me, do not take the time to do more than regular oil changes. Why not? Well, it’s hard, it seems like a lot of work for something that might not be needed, life is busy. Yet we all know cars break down, especially when neglected. We don’t regret our neglect until it’s too late and the car is broken down. That’s when the real inconvenience of a big repair happens. But those repairs can be costly, sometimes the vehicle isn’t even salvageable. When that happens the time and energy and cost of keeping up with the car doesn’t seem so steep anymore. Does that sound familiar?  It should, because many people have the same attitudes about marriage and family. There is no need to fix something that isn’t broken, in fact it’s often seen as embarrassing to seek guidance or the sign of a defective relationship. Many great cars stop working because of neglect, and so do many marriage and family relations.

It shouldn’t be embarrassing to gain knowledge that improves a marriage. It doesn’t mean that a parent is subpar when they seek parenting guidance. I take it as a sign of great parental wisdom to seek out the best ways to raise children. The same can be said for couples. There is so much information about marriage and families. Other people, like researchers, scientists, therapists, and those like my parents that learned through trial and error, have discovered answers and want to share them. So read a parenting book, attend a  marriage seminar, research healthy communication and boundaries on the internet. It’s all out there and readily accessible for little to no cost. The real tragedy would be to ignore the incredible knowledge out there. MacGyver would not have been as exciting without his extra know-how.

1 Comment
  • Mrs. Laura Merriott
    Posted at 07:11h, 16 September

    When will this society address the facts that MOST social ills like poverty, school drop-out rates, crime, sexually transmitted diseases, and others are DIRECTLY linked to the Hollywood-condoned acceptance of casual sex outside of marriage?
    MARRIAGE is protective, but we have accepted LIBERAL LIES and have witnessed the devastation!
    MANY progressive authors at Religion Dispatches,some “reverends”, have
    distorted Judeo/Christian Biblical TRUTHS by asking us to condone 3
    LIBERAL LIES with regard to human sexuality, the first is “free love”,
    which is the acceptance of hetero/homosexual SINS of fornication,
    sodomy, oral sex, and pornography!
    We have MUCH data from our own CDC that these condoned sexual choices
    have NOT been free, but have harmed/killed millions with STD’s,
    The second is “choice”, which is ALWAYS the terminating of a growing
    unborn human life-go to and view the IMMORAL choice!
    And lastly, the LIE of “protection with condoms”, when we have data
    from the CDC that condoms CANNOT protect against many STD’s because
    they are found in areas like the inner thighs-which are NOT covered by
    ALL of these LIES are NOT compatible with Christ’s teachings -He said
    “go and SIN no more”-not just use a condom while you engage in sexual
    sin, and if that fails, you can make the “choice’ to kill your unborn

    I have all of the detailed data- particularly the SAD statistics on how
    blacks are negatively affected because according to our own CDC-they
    engage in uncommitted non-marital sexual behaviors at much higher rates
    than their peers–THUS more devastating numbers.
    Although we have numbers for white and Hispanic
    youth, which are also very troubling, the sad numbers reflect that
    black youth
    are particularly negatively affected.

    Blacks account for 12-13% of the U.S. population–yet they have higher
    numbers as a percentage of their race in all of the following social

    POVERTY-The #1 group trapped in poverty are single female -headed
    households–NO marriage–sadly, blacks have a 70% out–of-wedlock
    birth rate. We spend $100 billion on poverty-related programs.

    STD’s –Blacks have higher numbers of ALL STD’s -not just HIV/AIDS!
    We spend $20 billion on screening/treatment.

    CRIME–We know that black youth engage in higher rates of criminal
    behavior and on
    more black victims–we also know that 70% of the men in prison came
    homes with NO fathers–NO marriage! We spend $40,000/year per inmate
    for upkeep in prison?

    ABORTION–We know that since 1973-Roe v. Wade that 45 million unborn
    have been KILLED in legal abortion–BUT 1/3rd of those-15 million,
    were black.

    We also have evidence of negative emotional effects of
    pre-marital sex like
    increased rates of depression and suicide, discussed in 2 new books,
    “Unprotected” by Dr. Miriam Grossman and “Hooked” by Dr.
    McIlhaney discuss the hormonal influence with sexual choices.

    GOD bless us everyone!
    MRS. Laura Merriott
    814 835-0249n!

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