01 Jan MARRIAGE — NOT REALLY SUCH A MYSTERY
An 80 year old woman was asked to speak to a group of women about marriage. She had been married to one man all of her married life, and they had raised a large family. At the end, she opened up a question and answer segment. Someone asked her if she had ever thought of divorce. She thought for a minute and then said, “divorce, no, murder, yes.”
Stephen R. Covey (7 HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE) called marriage ‘ the graduate school of mortality.’
I have been married only once and still to the same man. We have raised children and helped with grandchildren. I worked while my husband went through college and medical school, and then when we had children, I stayed home with them and was patient (and alone with the children) through more of his training. I must agree with the above 2 paragraphs. It is NOT easy. So, with all of this information, why do people get married?
In the book “The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier and Better Off Financially” (Waite and Gallagher) , it reveals research that married men and women live happier, healthier, and more financially secure lives, and even have “more and better sex.” The authors argued – using a broad range of indexes- that “being married is actually better for you physically, materially, and spiritually than being single or divorced.
“Marriage comes complete with all the trials, tribulations, obstacle courses, tests, rewards, and consequences necessary to fulfill your highest potential as a human being – the challenge to serve a higher ideal than self.
What enables a man and a woman to ultimately triumph – to have a truly happy long-term marriage and family? ONE THING ONLY. BOTH OF THEIR LIVES MUST REVOLVE AROUND TRUTH. They have a shared standard by which to resolve differences. All disagreements ultimately find resolution – not because one knuckles under to the other, the submissive to the dominant, but because they both have placed God’s will at the center of their lives, the center of their family. The wife is not threatened by her husband’s being the ultimate and natural authority in the family because she trusts him and his judgment. Nor, however, is the husband threatened by submitting to his wife’s guidance when he sees she is clearly right.
This is why God ordained marriage – so we could find Him.” (The Marketing of Evil” – David Kupelian)
In our marriage, God and religion have been our foundation and that alone has enabled us to stay married – We have family prayer, individual prayers, blessings on the food, we both read scriptures individually, and family is our priority. I realized years ago that a life of ease and enjoyment can seem so wonderful, but there is little fulfillment; loneliness is real and that is why God has ordained marriage and family, to walk with and help each other through this difficult life. And I repeat, in spite of my understanding of all of the above, marriage is still a challenge and an uphill journey, but the alternative would be cold and dreary. When I look back at the first few years of our marriage, I can see that we have progressed- AND THANK GOODNESS! Most people agree that the first year or two of a marriage are years to be forgotten.
Marriage is, indeed, the graduate school of mortality.