In a world where the boundaries of modern technology and personal desire constantly shift, the practice of surrogacy raises profound ethical questions that demand our attention. While many look at surrogacy as a path to build a family, it also calls for a conversation about the commodification of women and children. Are we, in our pursuit of parenthood, inadvertently reducing the profound nature of human life to a mere transaction?
Dive into this article to explore the complexities behind surrogacy and its implications on the very essence of family and human dignity.
Protecting the vulnerable,
Wendy Wixom, President
United Families International
Babies With Price Tags:
Is Surrogacy a Good Thing?
by Alexis
In January 2024, headlines were abuzz with the topic of surrogacy and its ethical implications. The spark for such discussion was due to Pope Francis taking the opportunity to call surrogacy “deplorable” and to state quite bluntly, “A child is always a gift and never the basis of a commercial contract. Consequently, I express my hope for an effort by the international community to prohibit this practice universally.”
Several times I have thought about surrogacy and wondered what my thoughts were on the subject. Is it unethical? Is it really so wrong for bereft parents to finally have the opportunity for a child?
“What is surrogacy if not outsourcing?”
A popular comedic movie about surrogacy came out in 2008, when surrogacy was a little more infrequent than it is today. Called “Baby Mama”, the movie follows a woman who turned away from the mommy track and instead pursued a career. She realizes too late that she desires a child more than anything, and after failed attempts at in-vitro fertilization (IVF), she accepts the idea of using a surrogate. When she visits an agency that specializes in finding surrogate mothers, the owner makes a very interesting comment. “We don’t do our own taxes anymore. We don’t program our computers. We outsource. And what is surrogacy if not outsourcing?”
Essentially, the aspects of our lives we deem to be distasteful or difficult are handed off to those in need of the money. This is akin to what Pope Francis had to say in his speech. He said surrogacy is, “based on the exploitation of situations of the mother’s material needs.” A study looking at the demographics for 104 gestational carriers’ hints at the truthfulness of his statement when it showed that half were unemployed.
The surrogacy business was valued at $14 billion in 2022, but is expected to reach a value of $129 billion by 2032. Couples utilize surrogacy when they are struggling with fertility or are in a gay relationship, but also when they choose not to become pregnant themselves, which is called a “social surrogacy”.
The Guardian interviewed Dr. Vicken Sahakian, who specializes in helping couples have families through surrogacy, and he discusses how “social surrogacy” is becoming more popular. He states, “If social surrogacy was more affordable, more women would be doing it, absolutely. There’s an advantage to being pregnant, the bonding, I understand that, and from experience I can say that most women love to be pregnant. But a lot of women don’t want to be pregnant and lose a year of their careers.” They also spoke to another fertility doctor that said 20% of her patients are seeking a social surrogacy, and, of her patients that come from China, 80% are wealthy women desiring a social surrogacy.
Types of Surrogacy
Traditional surrogacy is when the surrogate is genetically related to the child along with the intended father who donates his sperm. On the other hand, there is gestational surrogacy which is when both the egg and sperm that make the embryo come from the intended parents, and the surrogate mother is only a vessel in which to grow the offspring. An incubator.
If the surrogate receives money for her service, it becomes a commercial one. Whereas if she receives nothing besides the hospital costs being covered, her service is deemed an altruistic one. Most of Europe bans all forms of surrogacy, such as Germany, Sweden, Spain, and Italy. While places such as the UK, Canada, and Greece legalize only altruistic surrogacies. The USA varies across its fifty states, but California is named the most surrogate-friendly place in the world.
The recommended criterion for becoming a surrogate and choosing one is:
- Ideally between the ages of 21-42
- A history of carrying pregnancies to full-term without any complications
- Passes a psychology screening with a mental health professional
- Willing to sign a contract for giving up the baby and responsibilities
- Test negative for infectious diseases and STD’s
- If married, must have consent from spouse to become a surrogate
Surrogacy arrangements are not just for anyone. If you want this type of service, then you need to be in the higher income brackets. The cost can range anywhere from $80,000 to $120,000. The costs are high due to the potential need for mental health professionals, surrogacy agencies, egg and sperm donors, health care providers, and attorneys.
The Damage Done to Children and Surrogates
What about the results from this bona fide transaction? Read the account of one woman whose creation through traditional surrogacy has instilled in her a deep obligation to see such a practice banned. She wrote in her story, “The sacred bond between mother and baby is, I feel, something that should never be tampered with.” Feeling “lonely and confused” she became depressed as a teenager, took marijuana, attempted suicide several times, partied, and one time drank so heavily that she was raped. She said she did all this to “to stop the thoughts that plagued [her]” concerning her origin.
After having her own children and discovering her birth mother, she has shared her story and received stories back. She writes, “I’ve been moved to tears by the messages I have had from women who tell me how deeply they regret their decisions to be surrogates and how they pine for the babies they gave up.” (Emphasis added)
One surrogate told The Guardian, “Altruistic surrogacy can be deeply exploitative and abusive, as I learned to my cost…We never hear about the dark underside of surrogacy, only the romanticized version in the media, and well-meaning women like me sign up not knowing the real risks and costs, then get used up and spat out.”
Another surrogate was diagnosed with cancer, and refusing abortion, desired to deliver her baby early. The gay couple commissioning the child, “wanted her to abort the baby because they didn’t want a baby who would be born prematurely, and who may have serious medical needs.” The fathers refused to entertain the idea of allowing the baby, if delivered alive, to be adopted by the surrogate or someone else. The fathers stated they didn’t want their “DNA out there” being raised by someone else. Even one of the surrogate’s doctors said they knew someone willing to adopt the baby, but the fathers just wanted a “death certificate” for the child and asked that no life saving measures be performed on the baby if he was born alive.”
Compassion for the surrogate or the child seems to not be in the emotional lexicon of some ‘intended parents.’ Yet, the negative impact on the physical and mental health of children and the women who serve as surrogates continues to be well documented. (go here, here, and here)
The Intended Parent’s Perspective
An article from 2008 written by a journalist who had utilized surrogacy is very enlightening. First, the journalist seems uncomfortable admitting that by using a gestational surrogate, there was now a price tag attached to her child, and instead tried to act like it didn’t matter throughout the article. She writes, “Surrogates would never say they were motivated to carry a child for another couple just for money; they were all motivated by altruism. This gentle hypocrisy allows surrogacy to take place. Without it, both sides would have to acknowledge the deep cultural revulsion against attaching a dollar figure to the creation of a human life.” She concedes and at the same time turns a blind eye to the commercial factor of surrogacy.
Secondly, she admits that this alternative path to motherhood was like receiving, “an automatic upgrade to first class.” For her, she got to watch as her surrogate mother experienced all of the pains and uncomfortable physical changes of pregnancy while she went white-water rafting, drank alcohol, attended the Super Bowl, and went ski-racing. Yet, she was the one who got the baby at the end. She still details her guilt and wrestles with the concept of surrogacy, but nonetheless, her synopsis of the nine months of pregnancy by proxy was accurate.
The Right to Parenthood
At the end of her article, I was reminded of a point raised by author Kimberly Ells in her book, “The Invincible Family.” In it she ponders the burgeoning right to parenthood. Children have a right to their parents, but parents do not have a right to children. Ells says, “Selling people is something that, amongst all the nefarious practices of the world, has managed to maintain a bad reputation. Human trafficking, especially trafficking of children, is a cause almost the whole world theoretically condemns. How, then, do you make the commodification of children—and of women’s wombs—a celebrated development? You enact marriage equality, which claims parenthood as a right.”
Women are not paid for putting their children up for adoption, and yet that is essentially what is happening with women who opt for surrogacy. As women wait longer and longer to have their children, desiring to choose a career life first, they diminish their ability to have children, thereby having to resort to IVF treatments and then eventually surrogates. In a way, this is still a social surrogacy. They choose to do what they want until they miss their chance for a healthy pregnancy, so then they utilize another woman’s womb.
I am not ignorant to the fact that surrogacy dates back to Babylonian times and is in the Bible when Hagar carries a child for Sarah and Abraham. Or when Bilhah is asked to have a child for Rachel and her husband Jacob. I merely am concerned by the dollar signs that are now being attached to children, and the recently discovered right to parenthood. Surrogacy can become a way to escape the ‘terrors of pregnancy’, forcing it onto the lower classes of women.
While a multi-faceted issue, surrogacy ultimately should never be used for a social purpose, and the commercial contracts entered open Pandora’s box for children’s safety and ultimate well-being. Take the time to research and become familiar with the moral and ethical issues associated with surrogacy, something many people see as only providing societal good; then draw your own conclusions. Surrogacy and associated businesses do not appear to be going away anytime soon.
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Alexis
was raised on a ranch in Dadeville, Missouri. She loves spending time with her husband, reading, hiking mountains, and learning new hobbies. She recently graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho with a degree in Political Science, emphasis on American Government.