The Despair of Children in an Unstable Home
April 9, 2008
From a young age, I was exposed to explicit sexual speech, self-indulgent lifestyles, varied GLBT subcultures and gay vacation spots. Sex looked gratuitous to me as a child. I was exposed to all-inclusive manifestations of sexuality, including bathhouse sex, cross-dressing, sodomy, pornography, gay nudity, lesbianism, bisexuality, minor recruitment, voyeurism and exhibitionism. Sado-masochism was alluded to and aspects demonstrated. Alcohol and drugs were often contributing factors to lower inhibitions in my father’s relationships.”
— Dawn Stefanowicz, London, Ontario, description of growing up with a homosexual father
Dear Friend of the Family,Carol Soleberg, President of UFI
First a lump formed in my throat. Then my eyes moistened up as I read Dawn’s statement. I shudder to think that any precious child should have to endure such inappropriate behavior by adults. This is not what childhood is supposed to be for any boy or girl.
One of the best known authorities on the topic of children growing up in the homes of homosexual parents, Dawn Stefanowicz recently phoned our office to discuss the topic. Since then, Dawn released a book about her experiences growing up in the 1960s and 1970s in the Toronto home of her homosexual father, who eventually died of AIDS. The book is titled “Out from Under: The Impact of Homosexual Parenting.” Dawn also submitted a statement for a marriage rally in Canada in 2005, explaining the trauma she experienced:
Over two decades of direct exposure to these stressful experiences caused me insecurity, depression, suicidal thoughts, dread, anxiousness, low self-esteem, sleeplessness and sexuality confusion. My conscience and innocence were seriously damaged. I witnessed that every other family member suffered severely as well.
The many personal, professional and social experiences with my father did not teach me respect for morality, authority, marriage and paternal love. I felt fearfully silenced as I was not allowed to talk about… without being browbeaten and threatened by my father. Yes, I loved my dad. However, I felt abandoned and neglected… I was outraged at the incidences of same-sex domestic abuse, sexual advances toward minors and loss of sexual partners as if people were only commodities. I sought comfort looking for my father’s love from boyfriends starting at 12 years old.
Dawn is the survivor of a turbulent childhood whose experience and credibility deserve to be heard and respected. Many will ask if her experiences are typical or unique. Our fact sheet on the social science research sheds more light on the topic.
According to a growing number of personal testimonies, experts and organizations, there is mounting evidence of strong commonalities to my personal experiences. Not only do children do best with both a mother and a father in a lifelong marriage bond, children need responsible, monogamous parents who have no extramarital sexual partners. Parental promiscuity, abuse and divorce are not good for children.
Children deserve to be raised in a loving home by their mother and father — who attend to their emotional and developmental needs.
Dawn recognizes this need and is concerned for what the future holds for children. “Very kind-hearted men and women are trying to meet the day-to-day demands of family, work and volunteer commitments without time to consider how same-sex marriage, hate crime legislation and local school policies will impact their lives. The liberal media doesn’t share this in the 6 p.m. or 11 p.m. news. It is groups like yours that can get the message out about the dangers lurking behind ‘equality’ legislation and how it will hurt upstanding citizens and especially children.”
If Dawn’s story touched your heart as it did mine, please let me hear from you. For a gift of $30 or more to United Families International, we will send you the book “Out from Under: The Impact of Homosexual Parenting.” (Be sure to mention you want a copy of Dawn’s book! After making your online donation, please write to us to include your name, complete mailing address and the number of books you are ordering.) Thank you!