“From Nazi Germany to Trump’s America: why strongmen rely on women at home” has to be one of the most bizarre articles to come across my on-line feed in years (and that’s saying a lot!). The premise of the article is that motherhood (particularly stay-at-home moms), marriage, and family are just tools to be utilized by authoritarian regimes.
This week, Rebecca Heiner provides a rebuttal and lays out the facts about the importance of mothers caring for their children and the role of the family as the foundational unit of all healthy and thriving societies. It’s a fun and informative read!
Setting the record straight,
Wendy Wixom, President
United Families International
Women’s Influence in the Home: Beneficial or Political Propaganda?
By Rebecca Heiner
Since the early 1900’s when women fought for the right to vote, there has been an endless debate about where women “belong” in society. Over the years much has been said about this, sparking controversy and backlash surrounding stereotypes and expectations. But regardless of the countless opinions and views on women’s roles, no idea or stereotype has been villainized more in this realm than the 1950’s housewife.
According to modern lore, she is the epitome of all that has failed women over the past seventy something years. She cooks, she cleans, she wears an apron in the kitchen and submits to her husband. She bears children, she caters to her family while setting her own hopes and dreams aside, and she always tries to look her best just to please her man. Keeping her in the home somehow inhibits her ability to use her brain or contribute to society. Therefore, she is the enemy of progress. And according to some, her image is often used as political propaganda to manipulate and control.
Women as pawns of authoritarian governments?
Recently an article published in The Guardian claimed that in Nazi Germany, the government relied on women’s unpaid labor in the home, so the role of housewife was purposely glorified in order to persuade women to believe their place was in the home. Touting promises of domestic bliss, women staying out of the workforce and in the home would allow authoritarian men to run the show in society. As quoted in the article, Historian Claudia Koonz wrote in her book Mothers in the Fatherland, “women of nazi Germany operated at its very center, incubating ideals of white supremacy, female subordination and sacrifice at home.” Furthermore, the article suggests this narrative, based on family order and rooted in fascism, continues today under the influence of our current government leadership who have encouraged parents to have children and provided incentives for mothers to be in the home with their children.
Whether or not you agree with some of these assumptions, connecting family life to fascism, suggesting that the encouragement of homemaking is propaganda, and suggesting that caring for children is degrading is, to say the least, extreme. What we should be asking ourselves is a more important question: How did we get here? How have we reached a point in society where we suggest that bearing children and creating a family is little more than a way to submit to the order of the patriarchy and inhibit progress. Suggesting that no woman would choose to bear children, and be present to raise them, unless she was under the manipulative influence of a fascist regime is simply irresponsible and untrue.
The family unit has long been the most important unit of society and contrary to the premise of The Guardian article, the family is a bulwark against authoritarian governments. Contrary to the opinion of some, having children and raising them in a stable and loving home continues to be one of the greatest achievements life has to offer. Prioritizing marriage and family has countless benefits. It gives us a sense of purpose, provides long term companionship, gives us direction and hope for the future, and provides structure in society. But in our current culture, the narrative has shifted from “we” to “me,” taking the focus away from “how can we be happy and fulfilled as a family, to “how can I be happy and fulfilled as an individual?” And in the middle of these shifting values and priorities, work done in the home has been painted as obsolete.
Feminism’s false promises
But even as women have traded in their aprons for desk jobs, a new slew of problems have developed. Women working outside the home may have helped increase economic growth, improved some aspects of gender equality, and helped elevate job satisfaction, but it hasn’t come without a cost. According to research presented by the Gender Equity Policy Institute, just because a woman works outside of the home doesn’t mean the essential household and parenting duties magically disappear. Despite the alternative narrative that “women can have it all” by managing a career, household, marriage, and children, parents and families are more stressed and overwhelmed than ever. The brunt of the workload in the home often falls on women, creating burnout and stress, and this is true whether a couple has children or not.
According to this GEPI report, even when there are no children in the home, women who work do more at home than their male partner. Among childless workers working full-time:
- Women do 1.8 times as much household work as men. Among those working part-time, women do 2.4 times as much household work as men.
As noted in the report, “Parents are working longer hours and devoting a record amount of time to taking care of children. Physically and emotionally demanding, these responsibilities chip away at the time that parents have left over for rest, fun, and fostering personal relationships. The mental health and well-being of both parents and children are at risk from the pressures on today’s parents.” When it comes to a working mother, not only does she have responsibilities at work, but unless she can afford significant outside help (a maid, nanny, personal chauffeur, chef, etc.) she now has double or triple the work looming over her. A working mom doesn’t just go home and put her feet up after a long day. She continues to work long after she arrives home, tending to kids, dinner, homework, extracurricular activities, and so forth.
Unrealistic expectations
The idea that women can “have it all” is reflective of the unrealistic expectations our culture often places on women. The ideal woman should be multi-faceted and complex, yet able to cope with the endless list of oxymorons required of her. She should be thin, but not too thin. Pretty, but not too high maintenance. Sweet, but not overly sensitive. Strong, but not overbearing. Smart, but not opinionated. The villainization of “homemaking” further enhances this narrative by insisting that work inside the home is the lesser work, and therefore not as important.
But this couldn’t be further from the truth. The work done within the walls of a home, when done with good intent and positive purpose, can make all the difference in society.
What about the kids?
Notably absent from The Guardian article is any discussion of the burden and negative consequences this shift of women away from the home has imposed on children. While it is proven that children thrive when they have the influence of both a mother and a father consistently in their lives, mothers particularly carry a significant amount of influence in a child’s life. Even from the moment of conception, mothers provide something for their babies that no one else can.
Countless studies show how a mother’s presence and care influence a child’s development. And, there is plenty of research pointing to the harms of “outsourcing” the care of our children to others. Here’s the truth, no other relationship comes close to equating the influence of a mother on her child.
Summing it all up
I can’t think of any work more important than nurturing a child who then can become a well functioning adult in society. Maybe we have lost sight of this truth. And maybe we should consider another possibility.
Perhaps women’s presence in the home is not a fascist ideal or political propaganda. Perhaps prioritizing women’s influence in the home is the missing piece to many of the things that ail society today. Perhaps work in the home is far more important and valuable than any job in the workforce. And although it should be a joint effort between partners, the unique qualities and skills women contribute to the world are especially magnified in the work she can do among her family.
Instead of pushing a narrative, how about we let women thrive in whatever realm they decide. What if we recognize that equal rights for women is not just equality in the workplace. What if it’s as simple as recognizing that all work is important and valuable, regardless of gender, and allow women to gravitate towards what they recognize is most important, without devaluing their decisions? This would mean we stop equating worth with status, stop politicizing children and families, and start recognizing all contributions as valuable. Whether that means a woman works inside or outside of the home (or both), the important thing is she is valued either way, rather than used for a political agenda.
The most important thing we can do is continue learning and talking. Learn about the importance of marriage, families, and children. Explore options, deepen understanding, and prioritize the things in life that have lasting implications. Put relationships first and nurture the people (especially children) in our lives. And stop paying attention to any narrative that rejects the idea of putting marriage, children, and family first.
For more research based information on this topic, please explore the many resources on UFI’s website: https://homefront.unitedfamilies.org/units/feminism-101/before-you-meet/
In addition:
- Visit WorldFamilyNews.org
- Sign up for UFI’s weekly Issue Updates and news alerts – and encourage your family and friends to do the same!
https://www.unitedfamilies.org/stay-informed/sign-up-for-our-emails/
Rebecca is a graduate of BYU-Idaho, earning a Bachelor of Science in Marriage and Family Studies. She enjoys freelance writing, especially about topics surrounding families. She and her husband live in Riverton, Utah, and for the past 25 years have been raising and loving their three daughters. She enjoys reading, writing, and relaxing in the backyard on warm summer nights. Rebecca is passionate about the importance of families in society, and hopes to continue advocating for strong and healthy family relationships.