06 Jan Why I’m Not a Feminist
Imagine for a moment about the life I, among many others, cherished while growing up. Dinner that my mother worked so hard on is set on the table, and a warm, cinnamon aroma filling the house. My parents give each other a kiss after my father returned home after a hard day’s work, while we kids washed our hands. As we ate, we talked and laughed with another about the days we had. It was comfortable, warm, and such a wonderful feeling knowing that we were safe with our loving family. This occurred day after day. I loved growing up with my family all around me, and having the love and support I constantly received from each sibling and parent.
But unfortunately, the times are changing, and a lot of homes do not have that. Families are being broken up by this new wave of feminism, some call it radical feminism. This is less about the equal rights, opportunities, or the equality of women and men in the workplace, and more about the women wanting to do everything for themselves, not needing a man, or a husband, and some significant social engineering. In the process, it is destroying what many individuals – particularly children – long for.
Radical feminists believe that marriage is a patriarchal institution that harms women and children, marriage is comparable to slavery, and raising children is not in their intentions, or is even beneath them. They don’t need a family of their own to be happy. Marriages are being destroyed, children of single-parent families are left motherless or fatherless, women are foregoing the experience of having and raising children and homosexual women are perceived as normal. All of these issues are detrimental to the family: a husband, wife, and children. The feminists do not see the importance of marriage and families to society, nor do they see the benefits it can bring to men, women, and their children.
According to a post done by the NBC Today, couples are choosing to forgo having children, and are only needing companionship and love, and focusing on the joys of life that a couple can do without children. Many women who have adopted a feminist mindset are choosing to not have the joys and experiences that can come from having children because they want to pursue their own personal endeavors, or hobbies and interests. This attitude is detrimental to the family and more and more people are being influenced and taught to act the same way.
Though the gender-specific roles have definitely been changing gradually over time, we need to cherish the roles we are given, and for the work we do, whether man or woman. We need to protect the sanctity of traditional marriage, and raising children, and the values of the family. This wave of feminism is spreading because of academic institutions, what women and girls see in TV and movies, and the effects of social media. These things make sex outside of marriage, living together, being a couple without children, and same-sex relationships seem to be acceptable and preferable. For the women who buy into radical feminism, they view men as dominators, oppressors, or attackers, and they certainly are not seeing the importance of the most influential and important family structure – the intact natural family.
I believe that marriage between men and women is sacred, and their unique qualities and skills are complementary and necessary to raise a stable, happy and productive family. Since the beginning of radical feminism, women have been undermining what I believe to be God-given roles. Many have given up marriage, because of the commitment, faithfulness and obedience to their husbands makes them feel like a minority or even a “slave.” Problems can also come from those who turn in the direction of the gay and lesbian community, which is a strong choice among radical feminists. They consider sexual activity outside of marriage to be completely fine, and that being able to easily access birth control and abortion to be a human right.
Research has been done time and time again showing that single parent households or divorced couples lead to a higher percentage of poverty due to the lower income. As many researchers have found, marriage has a variety of benefits, such as better health and longevity, more positive outlook on life, children doing better in school, etc. There is more and more evidence that women are becoming very dissatisfied with having to both work, raise children alone, and struggle to be financially stable. In an article entitled Family Values as Practiced by Feminist Parents, it talks about how the roles are shifting and the times are changing from heterosexual married couples to the “new normal” families. This could be any family whether they are gay, single, raising children, or women out in the workforce, while the men stay home with the children.
I can’t imagine what my life were to be like if my family were among these statistics regarding divorce, alternative families, abortion, purposeful childlessness, or the changing sexual views in our society. This would be very hard to cope with if I had a mother, or even a father, who was willing to give up the “traditional family” life, or even their own family for the pursuit of their own happiness, or their desire of focusing just on a career or travel. I recognize that shifts in the economy and in personal circumstances may have forced some to live a life that they wouldn’t have chosen for themselves or for their children, but even in those circumstances it is possible to acknowledge the need for society to set the goal and the ideal of traditional family units. It is a goal, that for the sake of our children, we must strive for. Radical feminism has failed us all.
Lisa Hymas is a student at BYU-Idaho pursuing a degree in Marriage and Family Studies. She is originally from Blackfoot, Idaho, and has been married for almost two years. Lisa loves studying the family and learning how to advocate in an effort to solve problems in the world today.