February 5, 2024
Since the ruling of Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015 was announced, homosexual couples around the country have been engaging in the act of marriage. And who could blame them when their next desire was to adopt children. Wanting to enlarge your family with children is not wrong at all. But as gay and lesbian couples begin to adopt children, it is important that they, and the whole country alike, are made aware of the biological, emotional, and physical need for a mother and father dynamic in a child’s life.
There is plenty of research out there that claims there are no differences in child health outcomes when it comes to whether or not they are raised by biological or same-sex parent households. Well, I am here to debunk this theory and show that same-sex parent households are actually damaging to not just the children, but to society as a whole.
Men and women are different
First, when we legalize and advocate for same-sex marriage, we are saying that men and women are interchangeable, that you don’t need to have a wife or husband, they are the same. Now, this is not to say that men and women aren’t equal; men are no better than women and vice versa. However, that does not mean they are the same. Men and women, husbands and wives, moms and dads, bring different skills, strengths, perspectives, and knowledge to the table, all of which should be valued and considered. These differences should be celebrated and supported, especially when it comes to children and their wellbeing. No matter what your family situation looks like, it is crucial that a child has their biological mom and dad with them as they grow up.
This idea, of course, is a lot easier said than done. We are imperfect beings, we live in a world where divorce, teen pregnancy, cohabitation, and abuse exist that would make a child live without one or both biological parents. That does not mean biological parent households are not the ideal situation for a child, assuming that both biological parents are loving individuals that provide a stable and nurturing environment for a child and not abusive.
With this in mind, I would like to introduce a few ideas that will highlight the importance of a mother and father. Pertaining to emotional development in children and their fathers, Pediatric Associates of Franklin state that “fathers, like mothers, are the pillar in the development of a child’s emotional well-being. Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them. They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional.”
Discussing mothers and the development of their children, the American College of Pediatricians report that “children who received warm, maternal nurturing in early childhood ended to develop a larger hippocampus- the learning, memory, and stress response center in the brain.” Having a warm and nurturing mother does not just increase the likelihood physically, but emotionally, mentally, and socially as well.
The danger in utilizing surrogacy
Authors and advocates alike are beginning to take notice of the need for the male and female partnership in raising our future generations. According to Gary Powell, a gay man and gay rights advocate has a stance on surrogacy and how it effects women (which in turn, effects their children). He states that the growing media insisting that 2 men having a child is the same as a man and woman having a child “results in the birth mother and biological mother increasingly being airbrushed” out of the picture. Obviously, having mothers being swept under the carpet when it comes to anything, but especially creating children, will be detrimental to society, resulting in women being perceived as nothing more than a uterus who can create a baby.
Next, I would like to quote Kimberly Ells, author of The Invincible Family. She has an entire chapter dedicated to this very subject and eloquently brings to light the many costs of having gay couples as primary caregivers to children. Here, she states that “same-sex marriage law dismantles the natural sovereignty of women and displaces the rights of children to know and claim their own parents. It normalizes the absence of mothers and fathers and endorses the stance that the link between children and their literal parents is irrelevant, disposable, and exchangeable.” This supports my claim that having gay parents, as well as gay marriage, implies that men and women are interchangeable and there isn’t much of a need for them.
Kimberly Ells also quotes people who were born from surrogacy. Here are just a few of them:
- “I am a human being, yet I was conceived with a technique that had its origins in animal husbandry. Worst of all, farmers kept better records of their cattle’s genealogy than assisted reproductive clinics had kept for the donor-conceived people of my era. It also made me feel strange to think that my genes were spliced together from two people who were never in love, never danced together, and had never met one another.”
- “I hate being donor-conceived. I think it is ridiculous and bizarre that the two people that made me have never met and never will meet. I think it’s creepy that my dad was paid. I think it’s creepier that agents and salespeople and commercial doctors worked so hard to create me and now that I’m an adult have no interest in my opinion.”
- “If I could have one wish it would be to just hear the donor’s voice. I would love to ask him the most basic questions about himself. I wonder why he did it. It bothers me that there was money involved in my conception.”
These children, now adults, have unfortunately noticed their unique creation and they feel displaced because of it.
I am not saying that surrogacy is awful and no one should ever use it, but I do think there are unforeseen consequences to surrogacy that many people may not know, especially when it comes to gay parents paying a woman to have a child for them.
Raising the next generation
There are good people out there who are gay. It’s not my intention to say they wouldn’t be good parents either, but children need what only a mother and father can offer. And if they are a result of surrogacy, they have the right to their biological mother. Just because two men love each other does not mean they will also have enough love to provide the female aspects of parenting so desperately needed. If you are homosexual and have already adopted, don’t feel like you are now an inadequate parent. Merely, find a person of the opposite sex who can be a trusted source and a great parental figure as well. Our children deserve the very best and it’s up to you to provide that for them, just like any other parent.
For more information on the importance of a mother and father, click here.