by Tashica Jacobson
It’s been nine long months and I am ready for this baby to come. Throughout these months, though, I have learned many different things; some lessons probably relate to the majority of pregnancies, but some are unique to myself, and some probably shouldn’t be shared publicly. While I’m not ready to jump into pregnancy again any time soon, I have a new-found respect for women with multiple children. However, the biggest thing I have gained from pregnancy is an appreciation for my husband and a realization of why it really does take both a mother and a father.
From the very beginning having a child was a joint decision. It wasn’t me forcing my decision on him, or him making a decision and me going along with it. The topic was brought up and we both expressed our thoughts, fears, and concerns about having a child, and then we made a decision together, a decision that we were both happy with.
While our story is not that encountered by every couple having a child, the concept of unity is always there from the very start. It comes down to a simple fact of biology: it takes a mother and a father to conceive a baby.
I have always viewed myself as a very put-together person. I get things done on my own and ask for little help, even from those closest to me. Pregnancy has changed that to a certain degree. I haven’t been at the top of my game lately, and my body is exerting so much energy into building a baby that sometime I have no energy for much else. Morning sickness, exhaustion, pregnancy brain, aches and pains have certainly taken their toll. My husband has stepped up more than his fair share of time to make sure that things get done and to take care of me.
His care is what marriage and family is all about. Life gets hard and affects everyone differently, and I can only imagine the stress that will come with having a child. But life has been difficult now and we have pulled together to get through it. I want to give back a hundredfold the care that he has shown me, and I know that will be reflected in how we both love and care for our child.
Pregnancy, while a sometimes-challenging process, is also a forward-looking experience. Your current state is brought upon by the child that you hope to have. So it gives you plenty of motivation to think about the type of mother you’ll be and the type of father he’ll be. My thoughts of the future always have one thing in common, I wouldn’t want to do it without him. I’m more excited to see the type of father he’ll be each day, because I envision every event in our child’s life, from birthdays to illnesses, as so much better because I get to share them with him.
This process isn’t going to end after labor and delivery. Thankfully it just transfers to outside my body. And just as a father and mother was required to begin his life, he will continue to need a father and mother as he grows and develops. We won’t be perfect parents and life won’t be stress-free, but the fact that we are united as a couple, will help our family also be united and grow together.