How does a same-sex marriage harm your heterosexual marriage? Here’s how.

How does a same-sex marriage harm your heterosexual marriage? Here’s how.

Shattered familyThe happy “same-sex family” is more often than not built upon the back of a destroyed mother/father heterosexual family. 

In the same-sex marriage debate, how often have you heard this snarkily-delivered question:  “Well, how does a same-sex marriage harm your heterosexual marriage?”  With the obvious answer to be:  “Of course, there isn’t any harm…”  But writer Janna Darnelle shows us very clearly the consequences to marriage in her very sobering article entitled:

Breaking the Silence: Redefining Marriage Hurts Women Like Me – and Our Children

By Janna Darnelle

Every time a new state redefines marriage, the news is full of happy stories of gay and lesbian couples and their new families. But behind those big smiles and sunny photographs are other, more painful stories. These are left to secret, dark places. They are suppressed, and those who would tell them are silenced in the name of “marriage equality.”

But I refuse to be silent.

I represent one of those real life stories that are kept in the shadows. I have personally felt the pain and devastation wrought by the propaganda that destroys natural families.

The Divorce

In the fall of 2007, my husband of almost ten years told me that he was gay and that he wanted a divorce. In an instant, the world that I had known and loved—the life we had built together—was shattered.

I tried to convince him to stay, to stick it out and fight to save our marriage. But my voice, my desires, my needs—and those of our two young children—no longer mattered to him. We had become disposable, because he had embraced one tiny word that had become his entire identity. Being gay trumped commitment, vows, responsibility, faith, fatherhood, marriage, friendships, and community. All of this was thrown away for the sake of his new identity.

Try as I might to save our marriage, there was no stopping my husband. Our divorce was not settled in mediation or with lawyers. No, it went all the way to trial. My husband wanted primary custody of our children. His entire case can be summed up in one sentence: “I am gay, and I deserve my rights.” It worked: the judge gave him practically everything he wanted. At one point, he even told my husband, “If you had asked for more, I would have given it to you.”  Read the rest of the article at Public Discourse



1 Comment
  • Randy McDonald
    Posted at 15:20h, 28 September

    Darnelle’s marriage would have failed if same-sex marriage wasn’t a legal possibility, for the simple reason that her husband was gay and unattracted to her.

    In an ideal world, her husband would have been able to explore his sexual identity at his own leisure, eventually ending up or not with a partner who he was attracted to. She would be able to do so, too.

    In this sadly fallen one, the only option apart from the breakup of the marriage would have been for him to remain in a relationship with someone he was not in love with. What did Darnelle expect him to do? Pray that he would become sexually attracted to women in general and to her in specific?

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