I’ll bet you’ve heard that half of all marriages end in divorce and that most marriages are unhappy. In fact we are so used to hearing this that, of course, we all believe it. Most of us probably believe that, while this is not the case in their family or in their circle of friends, it is happening everywhere else.
by Diane Robertson
These sobering marriage statistics we all know about are deterring the younger generation from getting married because, hey, it is easier to never marry than to end a marriage in divorce. Well think for a minute about all of your married or divorced friends and family, young and old. How many are married verses how many have been divorced? I bet it’s not close to 50/50.
Author, Shaunti Feldhahn, recently released a book debunking what we all believe about marriage.
5 Myths of Marriage
- The Divorce rate is 50%. New data from the Census Bureau shows that the 50% divorce rate is indeed a myth. In fact, divorce rates have declined steadily since 1981. The truth: 70% to 75% of first marriages succeed. Get married! Marriage makes you healthier, and most marriages do indeed make it!
- Most Marriages are Unhappy. I am going to ask you take a moment and think about all your married or divorced friends and family, young and old once again. Are most of your married friends happy or unhappy? I bet you will find that most married people really are happy. In fact married couples with children make up the happiest people around. They are, after all, the backbone of society.
- Unhappy Marriages Stay Unhappy. Actually about 80% of unhappy couples who stay married find that within five years, they are happily married. Problems in marriage can be worked out.
- If Your First Marriage Failed, Your Second Marriage is Doomed. Actually no. Many people are very happy in a second marriages, and while there is not as much data for second marriages, the 60% failure rate we often hear is indeed a myth. Studies indicate that second marriage divorce rates are about the same as first marriages. If you have been devastated by a divorce, try again. Marriage makes you happy. Family life is happy life. Another marriage, just because it is a second marriage is not doomed for failure.
- The Religious Divorce rate is equal to the Non-religious. In her book, Feldham reports that “‘The Good News About Marriage’ also reveals the divorce rate among those active in their church is 27 to 50 percent lower than among non-churchgoers.”
To the younger generation, I would say, get married, stay married and go to church. If your marriage fails the first time, try again. You know how you have been told that there is no such thing as “Happily Ever After”? Well, that is a myth too.