17 Mar A Unique Relationship
by Tashica Jacobson
I’ve recently found a station on the radio that plays that old country music that I grew up on. One song that they play frequently is If You’ve Got Love by John Michael Montgomery. One verse in particular stands out to me it is:
Now there’s nothing like a real good friend
To tell your troubles to
But there’s just so much a real good friend can do
‘Cause it takes another’s touch to chase the darkest blues away
If you’ve got love you’ve got what it takes
So much truth is found in this song, but the one that I have reflected upon is that marriage is more than just a friendship. Marriage’s purpose is more than that of companionship, shared interests, and mutual satisfaction.
Modern society is losing site of what makes marriage different from other adult relationships. Governments have never recognized relationships other than that of one man and one woman as a marriage. The state has no interest in promoting adult romantic relationships for any other reason than the stability that it provides. This is because marriage is a way of connecting fathers and mothers and holding them responsible to the children that union produces. Marriage creates stable families, which every society needs to thrive.
In The Case for Marriage one of the myths about marriage that the authors discuss is that “marriage is essentially a private matter, an affair of the heart between two adults, in which no outsider, not even the children of the marriage, should be allowed to interfere.”
This view makes marriage just another adult relationship that can be terminated at will and is detrimental to children’s development. Years of research has shown that a stable home with a mother and father is by far the best environment in which a child can be raised. Studies have shown that “the intact family appears to offer a myriad of benefits for adults and children. The married home tends to provide a safer and healthier home environment.” Children benefit in areas of safety, academics, and emotional health; while rates of delinquent behaviors decrease.
When we view marriage as a relationship that affects only the adults involved, we put adults’ interests above the needs of children. We value adult feelings more than commitment, more than the welfare of children and communities. Society is starting to view marriage as simply another lifestyle choice. Life is not always ideal, but when it comes to the health and welfare of children and society, there is no alternative to a married home.
Devaluing traditional marriage shows a lack of understanding about the role that a stable family and marriage play in developing well-rounded contributing members of society.