Have you ever driven on the freeway through pelting rain? Where I live, it doesn’t rain like that very often, and when it does, I try not to be on the road. However, one day I got on the freeway during a light rain, with the little pitter-patter coming down on my windshield. I was enjoying the fresh smell of the rain. Then it hit hard, and all of a sudden I could barely see the road. A few cars were still whizzing by and I wondered what craziness compelled them to keep going so fast! I slowed down, as did most of the vehicles around me. The windshield wipers were working as hard as they could, back and forth before my eyes, cleaning off the rain so I could see. Finally the pelting storm subsided. I was relieved it was over. I could breathe more easily; I could see the road ahead, and I arrived at my destination safely.
As I drove and pondered the storm I had just experienced, I realized this experience was a lot like marriage. We get in our vehicle (the joining of husband and wife) and begin our journey together along the road of our relationship. Some marriages have goals, visions, destinations, and some just drive, hoping they will get somewhere worthwhile. Then a storm hits. It may be a 5 minute argument, a 2 day silent treatment, or a 10 year wedge that could lead to divorce. Or it could be a new baby, relocating, a rebellious teen, or an accident. Whatever the storm, some days it feels like there is no way out and the windshield wipers, designed to clear the storm, aren’t even working. We try different solutions as we attempt to wipe away the storms in our marriage. Sometimes we’re trying hard and sometimes we give up because we don’t know what to do and it just gets heavy. Unfortunately, It becomes too stormy to see a solution.
Even through storms, marriage has the capacity to create and hold “Living Love”. In fact, that’s what it was designed for-to allow two very different people to learn about love, forgiveness, connection and joy. Without the storms, how do we grow?
Meditations are a powerful way to see through the clouds to a different paradigm. The following meditation/visualization will assist you in seeing and understanding the beauty and strength in the potential of your marriage. You can read it and ponder its meaning, or you can have someone else read it to you as you close your eyes and allow your imagination to teach you.
Imagine you are going to a place you love to be, where you can relax and let go of all stress. Where would that be for you? In the mountains, on the beach, a beautiful garden, or wherever you feel relaxed. As you arrive, you take in the beauty of the area. You breathe deeply the fresh air, then take in the scents of nature around you. It all feels perfect, as if you’re in another world. As you’re enjoying the beauty around you, you see a figure coming towards you…… As this person comes closer, you realize he has a gift for you…… You reach out and receive it in wonder…… As you open it and pondering its meaning, you notice your spouse appear next to you…… You both see the gift and instantly realize that this gift is symbolic of the beauty and potential of your union. What is your gift? What does it mean for your marriage? How can it bless the future of your relationship? As you see the potential in front of you, you feel your guide urging you forward. Holding your gift, you step forward and see a new path ahead of you. You take hold of your spouse’s hand and walk towards the new path, knowing that the gift you hold in your marriage has the potential to create a beautiful path before you, and you are willing to go that direction and reap the happiness and joy that comes from overcoming the storms.”
Doing this meditation may not seem like much of a solution, but for every cloud, there are rays of sunshine, and for every difficult experience in a marriage,there is the potential for the equal and opposite amount of joy. When you do this meditation, you will have a great visual in mind and feeling in your heart about what the gift of your marriage is truly about. It will provide a foundation on which the Living Love builds. (For more about Living Love, see this article)
If you want to take it a step further, find a physical object that represents the gift, and put it in your bedroom where you can see it every day when you wake up. Take a few moments each morning to think about the gift, take a few deep breaths, and with each breath, think about the meaning and beauty of the gift, and let it sink in to your mind and heart. You don’t have to have all the solutions for your storms right now, just go back to the potential in the gift of your marriage. It will give you hope as you think about it each morning.
Living Love is possible in your marriage! First, find your foundation and gift, and let that be your fuel to find the other answers you need. I wish I had the power in one blog post to save every marriage relationship, but I can’t do that. Your solutions exist. Don’t give up. Allow yourself to see the beautiful potential of your marriage, and go from there. Living Love exists for you!