Kristen Jan Cannon
It’s not exactly news that porn is bad for your brain. Thanks to research on the matter, people are starting to realize the effects pornography has on your relationships and how you view others. But how does porn impact the way you view yourself?What’s interesting is that it doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re the one viewing it or if people around you are viewing it-porn distorts your perception of your body image either way.
While plenty of individuals are okay with their significant others looking at pornography, perhaps they shouldn’t be so tolerant. And here’s why:
Sex between two committed people who love each other can be (and should be) an awesome part of your relationship. But the only thing pornography emphasizes is sex. It fails to emphasize anything about real relationships. It fails to focus on real people with real bodies with real flaws.
So it makes sense then that when you are exposed to porn (note: exposed-not just addicted) your sense of reality becomes warped and soon people who used to be beautiful don’t measure up like they used to. You don’t see them accurately and they’re not as visually appealing. If you’re one of those people who aren’t as attractive to your partner because they’ve been viewing porn, OUCH.
And if you’ve been the one viewing it, you may find that not only do you see others in a less than ideal way, but you don’t think YOU are as attractive either. Double ouch.
Typically, it’s easy to focus on how porn negatively impacts women’s self-image. No girl, whether they pretend to or not, likes being compared to anyone else. Especially if that someone else is a porn star. In fact women who view pornography, or whose partners view pornography, are significantly more likely to consider plastic surgery and extreme dieting. For some, this self-esteem hit correlated with pornography has even lead to eating disorders.
But let’s talk for a second about how porn affects men’s self-image. You think viewing porn is going to make you feel more like a man? More macho? More cool? More smooth?
Think again, guys.
In a recent study conducted in February 2014, a group of college men who viewed pornography rated how they viewed themselves in terms of body satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and overall emotional well-being. After analyzing the data, it turns out that guys who view porn are much more likely than guys who aren’t viewing porn to have anxiety in and withdraw from romantic relationships. They are also more likely to be dissatisfied with their own muscularity and body image. Their sense of emotional security was overall lower than guys who do not view pornography. Porn doesn’t sound so macho now, does it?
It makes sense that like women, guys are also more insecure about themselves after viewing porn due to the inaccurate portrayal of male and female bodies. Guys who view porn also report feeling inadequate about their sexual performance because their partner either doesn’t act like a porn star or they aren’t as aroused by their partner as they used to be. Not very masculine. And not very cool.
Finally, a very interesting breakthrough in research tells us that negative body image among boys and men is fueled not just by the idealized male bodies they see in the media, but also by the idealized images of women.
A 2008 study found that men were more self-conscious about their bodies after viewing magazines or other media content featuring photos of sexualized, scantily clad women.
Bottom line: you don’t want people in your life, namely your significant other, to feel less attractive because you’ve been dabbling in pornography. And you also don’t want to feel inadequate about yourself.
So just a suggestion: say no to porn. Say “yes” to keeping it REAL. Guys, think about how it makes her feel. Ladies, you do the same. Porn won’t keep you warm at night. It won’t give you a sense of security or belonging. So how about you give each other that instead.